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Hemming and Hawing

So, you just picked up your first new suit. Something in 100% worsted wool, two or three button (better yet: three-roll-two, the best of both worlds) in navy or charcoal with a nice natural shoulder and canvassed lining (a topic for another day) and matching flat-front trousers. You’re feeling pretty good about yourself having made an educated choice, as you stand in front of the three-way mirror. However, the trousers are long with unfinished bottoms, so the salesman asks you “How do you want the pants hemmed?”, as he readies a piece of chalk to mark the inseam length. You manage to reply, “Uhhh. You know. Just…regular is fine, I think.” At this point, it’s obvious to both of you that you don’t know what you’re talking about.
What he’s really asking you is, “How long do you want your pants? Do you want the hems finished with cuffs or no-cuffs?”
Length is pretty obvious. Do you want a pool of excess fabric around your shoes, Tropical-Storm-Earl-Approved high-waters or something in between? This is referred to as “break.” In general, break is divided into “no break,” “full break” and anything in between, which is usually described in increments of break, like “slight” or “medium.”
No Break
When your pants have no break it means the hems of the pant legs are hovering over the tops of the shoes.
Full Break
A full break means the back of the pant leg hem reaches the top of the heel. The actual break can be seen clearly on the front of the pants above the shoe instep.
Like everything else in fashion, trouser break goes up and down depending on what the latest trend is. Currently, it seems like super-skinny pants hemmed to the ankle (or worse) are all the rage. This is… what’s the word I’m looking for? Oh yeah. Dumb. Your socks should never be visible when standing. My personal preference is no break. It provides an uninterrupted line from waist to instep and holds a nice sharp crease. If you wear braces with your suits you have the option of tweaking the break to perfection by adjusting the height at which you wear them. If you wear a belt, make sure you get the pants hemmed when they’re sitting at their eventual resting place. Otherwise, you’ll end up with pants that drag on the floor.
What about cuffs? This seems to be one of the more misunderstood aspects of trousers. There are plenty of “rules” tossed around ranging from restrictions due to the wearer’s height, the number or absence of pleats and/or political affiliations. The most common rule spouted by salesmen and tailors alike is “pleated pants = cuffs, Flat front pants = no cuffs.” I have no idea where these rules come from, but they don’t make a lick of sense. Traditionally, pleats with no cuffs have been worn in England and are considered classic business wear. In the U.S., flat front pants with cuffs are classic American Trad, going back 70 years or so. The only reason I can think of is that, given the current popularity of flat front pants over pleated pants, people are lazy and would rather not do the extra work involved in a hemmed cuff. Bottom line, there are no rules as far as cuffing is concerned but there are some good reasons why you should:
1) Cuffs provide a more “finished” look to your hems. Think of them as the crown molding of trousers. Some people might say that crown molding is “fussy” and a “clean line” is more attractive, but ask any contractor and he’ll tell you that it’s dang hard to finish a joint cleanly enough to look good. Same goes for pant hems.
2) Cuffs add weight to your pant legs. This is very important, especially with more fitted flat front pants. Anyone who has been seated for any amount of time in flat front pants has sported the dreaded “crotch spider:” an array of wrinkles emanating from your strained groinal area. Also, with most suit pants only being lined to the knee, many lighter and/or rougher fabrics tend to get caught on your socks (if you wear “over-the-calf” styles) and ruin the front crease, furthering the rumpled look. The extra folds of fabric in a cuff help pull the pant leg down to smooth out the wrinkles and keep your creases sharp.
3) Cuffs add structure to the leg opening. If you’ve ever had your pants get caught on your instep or heel, you know why that’s important. Cuffs keep the leg opening from catching and present a much sharper appearance.
Obviously, my personal preference is for cuffs. In fact, I cuff all of my pants. The only pants that shouldn’t be cuffed are: black/white tie trousers (tuxedo pants), jeans and any pants that might get stuff caught in the cuffs (like trompsin’-through-the-woods or huntin’ pants). Everything else is fair game: chinos, cords, tweeds, flannel, moleskin, seersucker etc. Keep cuff height proportional to your height. The average is 1.5”. If you’re a little shorter, get them 1.25” high. If you’re taller, go for 1.75”. If you need a place to store extra business cards, go for the full 2”.
The Duke of Windsor says, “Cuffs are the dog’s bollocks!”
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Accessories: The Case for Braces

No, I’m not referring to Forrest Gump’s “magic shoes” or Sean Astin’s metal mouth in Goonies. “Braces” is actually the correct term for what is normally referred to in the States as “suspenders.” Braces have a bit of a frumpy image in most people’s minds, having long since been replaced by belts except in the cases of firemen and sweaty, Southern lawyers in the movies. Personally, my only memories of braces are the clip-on suspenders my Mom would make me wear as a toddler to go with the cutesy, costumey outfits that mothers dress their children in to make them feel inferior so they’ll never leave home (or so my therapist says).

I’ve seen them on-and-off over the years on other men, usually older men who are a bit on the plump side, worn under suits. I thought they looked ridiculous (because I knew everything), but they sure did seem more comfortable in their clothes and had a tinge more class than the average belt-wearer. It wasn’t until I started seriously looking at the merits of braces over belts that I realized why this was:
1) Braces are more comfortable than belts. They allow you to wear your pants slightly larger around the waist. This, in and of itself, is more comfortable and impossible/pointless to do with a belt which will cinch the extra room down anyway and bunch the fabric up between the loops. But, it’s most noticeable when seated. No matter how thin or heavy you are, everybody’s waist expands when you sit. Depending on how you choose to cinch your belt, you’re either uncomfortable when sitting, comfortable when standing, or comfortable when sitting, Lil Wayne when standing. Also, the lack of a belt buckle digging into your gut makes for a more pleasant wearing experience.
2) Braces keep your pants up regardless of how you move. If you’re wearing a belt right now, try this exercise: Tuck in your shirt (you slacker), pull your pants up to your natural waist (where they belong) and make sure your belt is tight enough to hold them at that level. Now, lift your arms up over your head and lean back, stretching your core. Feels good, dudn’t it? Now look at where your pants have settled to. No matter how tight your belt is, gravity will make your pants find the lowest possible place to rest. This leads to a whole bunch of fit issues like hems that are too long sometimes, too short others, “crotch potch” (a term coined by my wife, meaning a voluminous, billowy fabric lump at crotch), “tenting” and others.
3) Braces allow for a smooth transition from your waistcoat to your trousers. If you wear a three-piece suit, braces allow the fabric transition from your vest to your pants to continue without being interrupted by a bulky, blingy piece of flair located at what could possibly be your worst feature (or, at least not your best). Every man should, at least, consider wearing three piece suits. Especially in the winter. The waistcoat helps to hide your waist (duh), stains on your tie, a wrinkly shirt, ugly undershirt-lines and helps to keep you warmer. Also, you don’t have to match the waistcoat fabric to the suit, so it gives you another style dimension to work with, and it gives you an excuse to swing a pocket watch around while you strut.
4) Braces are less expensive than similar quality belts. Obviously, there are extremes in both cases, but in general, a high quality set of braces will set you back about half of what a high quality leather belt would cost.
5) Braces: Set them and forget them! Tired of threading belts through those tiny belt loops each and every time you wear them, only to have to unthread them later? Well say goodbye to annoying belts and say hello to braces! No need to remove braces from your suit pants when you undress. Just leave them on there and hang the pants as you would normally. The next time you wear them, just slip them on, flip the braces over your shoulders and you’re good to go. Remember: slip, flip and go!
If you think you want to give it a try, here’s a list of dos and dont’s:
DO wear braces with normal-rise and “fishtail” suit pants.

DON’T wear them with jeans, chinos or anything low-rise.

DO wear button-style braces. They’re far more refined and have the anchor points spread out on your pants to avoid peaks.

DON’T wear the clip-ons. They’re in the same category as clip-on ties, they don’t hold up your waistband evenly and they ruin your pants.

DO sew buttons in your pants (or have them sewn in) for button-style braces. The front buttons can be sewn on the outside or inside of the waistband. The rear should be sewn into the inside to avoid hangups with chairs. At the front, the button closest to the inside should be positioned right above the crease in the pant leg to keep it nice and crisp throughout the day.
DON’T leave the belt loops on your pants. This is the number one faux pas that ruins a nice set of braces: lack of commitment. Once you sew buttons in for braces, the belt loops are a vestige of your former life and look cluttered and unfinished. Most guys won’t do this because they want the “option” of switching back to belts. Ladies, be wary of any guy who wears braces with belt loops. He’s the cheating type. See above picture of that tool, Chuck Bass.So that’s it. If you want a pair that’ll last you a lifetime, try Albert Thurston. A light colored set in Barathea and a dark colored Boxcloth will take care of all your pant hiking needs year-round.

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Dress Shoe Guide

Let’s face it, the majority of guys have shoe racks that look like shelves lined with shiny pairs of black and (maybe) brown bricks. The Kenneth Cole Reaction wave that swept the ’90s has robbed men of all knowledge relating to the traditional dress shoe and left only the blocky, square-toed, corrected-grain leather, rubber-soled, Pontiac Aztek of footwear to wear with suits. If this is you, no need to feel inferior. You’re a product of a generation that rebels against anything that is deemed “formal” in favor of the more “casual” alternative. However, history has taught us that knee-jerk reactions to the “establishment” is mostly, if not entirely, dumb. So, if while reading this guide, you think to yourself that the shoes described herein are “old man shoes” or remind you of your granpappy, don’t worry, that’s natural. Just accept the fact that these style guidlines were in place long before you were born and will remain in place long after the last Aldo store closes it’s doors. Let’s start with some basic rules:
1) Shoes with laces are more formal than those without. That’s easy enough.
2) More formal shoes are shinier than less formal ones. That one should be obvious. In order of formality: patent leather > calf/cordovan > pebble grain > suede > linen/canvas
3) With few exceptions, all dress shoes have leather soles. No exceptions! (except a few).
4) More formal shoes have fewer embellishments than less formal ones. The simpler the shoe, the more formal it is.
That should be enough to get you started classifying what you’ve already got. Now let’s talk about different shoe types. These are also listed in descending order of formality.
Lace-up Shoes: Sometimes referred to as “Oxfords” in the US. I’m only going to deal with lace-ups for this part since a) these are traditionally the more appropriate type of shoe to wear with a suit and, b) I hate loafers. edit: Since posting this, I’ve actually given loafers a chance and now I love them. I still don’t wear them with suits, but they’re great for sport coats and blazers.Balmoral (Bal-MORE-ul)
”Bal..whut?” Exactly. Named after a castle in Scotland, balmorals are the most formal of standard dress shoes. They’re identified by their closed-lace design. This refers to the fact that the leather part that has the eyelets is one piece with a “V” cut into the center. A true balmoral also has a horizontal seam that runs around the vamp (front). Here’s a few examples in descending formality according to the four rules above:

plain-toe balmoral

cap-toe balmoral

half-brogue balmoral

wing-tip balmoral
Blucher (BLOO-chhher -like “Chanukka” or “Chala”)
If you’ve ever seen the movie “Young Frankenstein” you’ll know how to pronounce it. A blucher is different from a balmoral in its lacing design. The vamp and tongue are one piece and the laces pull together two separate flaps over the tongue. The blucher is one notch down from a similar style balmoral. Examples:

plain-toe blucher

cap-toe blucher

longwing gunboat blucher
Spectators (SPEK-tay-ters)
Here’s where it starts to get interesting. Spectators can be either balmorals or bluchers, but they’re distinguished by having the toe and heel in a dark color and the tops of the shoes in a lighter color and possibly a different material as well. These shoes are entirely appropriate to wear with a warm weather suit in the summer months (and into the fall if one of the colors isn’t white), if you have the chuspa. Examples:

brown and white spectator balmorals

linen and leather spectator bluchers
Saddle (SAD-ul)
Saddle shoes tend to conjure up images of poodle skirts, bobby socks and Olivia Newton John. However, they are totally acceptable as dress shoes and most don’t have the typical white-shoe-black-saddle that the stereotype calls for. These are pretty much golden anywhere that spectators are appropriate, but one notch below in formality. While they do have closed lacing, they aren’t considered balmorals because they don’t have the same horizontal seam. Instead, they have a saddle seam that doesn’t extend as far back. Examples:

cordovan shell saddle

two-tone saddle

suede saddle w/ red brick sole
Bucks (White and Dirty)
No, that’s not the title of some risqué film about deer lovin’. White and dirty bucks are a summer staple in the south. Typically a blucher, bucks are made of nubuc or suede leather and have red rubber soles. This is the only instance in which a non-leather sole is appropriate for a dress shoe (some saddles can get away with it too). They’re a warm weather shoe that are often paired with seersucker and linen suits. Examples:

dirty and white bucks with red brick sole
So, now that you know what dress shoes are supposed to look like, why not try a pair out? Your legs will look longer, your feet will appear less Hobbit-like and you’ll set yourself apart from the Pilrgrim-shoe shod masses.
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A/O Original Pilot Sunglasses

One of the things that seems common to most men is an appreciation for useful, well-made gadgets that are built for situations we will never actually be in, but we love to pretend anyway. Just like women are always daydreaming about their wedding day, guys are always daydreaming about the day their 1000m dive watch with Helium-release valve tells them exactly how much time they have left to stab the Great White in the eye with their black titanium-nitride bullet space pen and save the puppy that fell off the pier before their portable scuba kit that they’ve had stashed in their trunk since they bought it at Sharper Image runs out of air (Holy Run-On Sentence, Batman!). Individual fantasies vary, of course.
It’s not so much that we NEED items that are rugged enough to withstand the most punishing environments known to man, but we like to know that they COULD. The idea that we as humans are capable of designing and building artifacts that can outlast us, outlive us and equip us to do things that we wouldn’t be able to do otherwise is a testament to our superiority over the elements. Owning such an artifact gives even the most common man a feeling of connection to those who put it all on the line in the name of human progress. And who better to encapsulate that notion than astronauts? If you’ve ever seen The Right Stuff or Apollo 13 and wished you were Dennis Quaid’s “Gordo” Cooper or Tom Hanks’ Jim Lovell, now you can be. At least from the neck up. And from the face forward. Mostly just in front of the eyes. I’m talkin ‘bout sunglasses, people.

Today’s feature is American Optical’s Original Pilot sunglasses. American Optical is the company that designed the original square pilot sunglasses (known as “Flight Goggles 58”). These were issued to Navy and Marine pilots, aircrew and NASA astronauts since 1958. While other companies have capitalized on their success (Randolph Engineering) and others have made low-budget fashion copies of their design (Ray-Ban Caravan), A/O is still the best value for mil-spec sunglasses, and the most authentic.

A couple pairs in “Gold” and “Silver” and the standard, no-frills case.

High-quality crimped (not screwed) nose pads with “AO” stamped in the base. Notice the soldered flat-section frames as opposed to the flimsy wire of some of the more popular aviators.

Beefy spring hinges and hardware are all mil-spec. I’m not a huge fan of the stamped logo but it’s less obtrusive than most.

The bayonet temples are very comfortable. Originally designed so they could easily be slipped on and off while wearing a flight helmet, these are handy if you’re the type that has a blue-tooth growing from your ear.

The lenses are 100% UV resistant True Color glass designed to prevent image distortion of flight instruments. Good enough to stare at a solar eclipse? You won’t know until you try.
If you’re still reading, I’ve saved the best part for last. The price. These babies can be had for half of what a pair of similar-looking but much crappier Ray-Ban Caravans cost, and a good $40 less than a pair from Randolph Engineering (the current supplier to the U.S. military and started by an ex-employee of AO). But if you really want the sweet hookup go to socal92057’s eBay store and get them for about $30 all day long. He’s an authorized dealer, so his wares are authentic and he’s got a few models that aren’t available anywhere else.
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Sneakers

Summer is in full swing and most wardrobes tend to sway a little more towards the casual, mine included. Let’s face it, you can’t wear double-leather-soled longwing gunboats (we’ll get to those at some point) all year round. Boat shoes are a nice alternative but sometimes you just want the relaxed look of a sneaker. Now, I’m not talking about those bejeweled basketball monstrosities that cost as much as a purebreed puppy, pillow-footed skateshoes that have more neon piping than Atlantic City, or even purpose-built running shoes or cross trainers when you’re not running and/or training in some cross-type fashion. If you’re looking for a classic sneaker that you can wear now and still be stylish twenty years from now, you have to go for simplicity: solid-color canvas upper and rubber bottom. That’s it. Here are my picks:
Converse All-Star Chuck Taylor

This is THE quintessential sneaker and a true testament to the staying power of a clean, uncluttered design. The first pair of sneakers that I remember owning were a pair of hi-top Chucks (in aqua… don’t ask). Chucks go in and out of fashion and make their rounds through every single sub and super-culture out there every decade or so. They’re always available, always relatively cheap and always basic. Grab a pair of hi-tops in black and wear them with some selvedge jeans, or some natural colored lo’s and wear them with shorts (no socks).
Vans Authentic Canvas

Before the name became synonymous with skate shoes, Vans made the Authentics (known as “deck shoes” back in the day). These are no-frills, closed lace shoes that share design elements with Keds, Sperry’s as well as a million other now-defunct or obscure manufacturers. You probably remember them from this guy:

Wear them with jeans or shorts (no socks). Stick to basic colors. BTW, the ones in the pic are laced incorrectly. Closed-laced shoes (sneakers included) should be “bar” or “straight” laced.
Converse Jack Purcell

This is the one that started it all. Originally designed by badminton champ Jack Purcell in 1935 (apparently, back in the day, badminton was popular enough to necessitate a championship), these bad boys have stood the test of time. Check out the top of the page to see James Dean rocking his pair or thumb through any J. Crew catalog and you’ll see plenty of hipster models wearing the same. If you get one pair of sneakers your whole life, get these. Wear them with shorts, jeans, chinos; they look good with everything. These tend to punish my feet when I don’t wear socks, but I do it anyway.
There a lot of “designer” versions or even “pre-distressed” pairs of each of these sneakers available out there. Steer clear. These are canvas sneakers, people. They aren’t made of fabergé eggs and bald eagle heads, so don’t pay more than two yuppie-foodstamps for a pair (that’s $40 for those who don’t frequent ATMs).
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The Tie Bar

In the past I’ve spoken at length about the importance of ties in a man’s wardrobe. Men should have a decent selection of ties for all types of occassions and pairing with different suits and sportcoats. Of course, even though we’d all love to have a sea anemone of ties greet us every time we open the closet door, the fact of the matter is that, for being a strip of colored silk that serves no practical purpose, ties are ridiculously expensive. You can easily pay upwards of $75 for a mediocre, department-store tie and in the hundreds for a mediocre, designer-label tie. If you like thrifting, you can get some nice deals, but you’re at the mercy of waiting for the family of some rich old lawyer to donate all his vintage ties and hope the tips haven’t all been dipped in coffee or soup. So what’s the alternative? Check out www.TheTieBar.com.
At $15 a pop for brand new, 100% silk, hand-made ties The Tie Bar is a well-dressed man’s best friend. They have extra-long ties, skinny ties (at 2 1/2” wide, I would call them “narrow” ties, not emo-band skinny), knit ties in both wool and silk, pocket squares in cotton and silk, cufflinks, bow ties (for when you become a man), ascots (for when you become Chuck Bass) and, of course, tie bars.
Here’s a few of my favorites and some of the features I like about them:
The construction on these babies is solid. I happen to like more traditional regimental and trad striped ties and they get it right, unlike some of the more expensive tie designers that clearly don’t know what they’re doing. The classic stripe tie is made in a heavy silk twill with wide, deep ribs.
The trad stripe tie is done in classic silk repp and available in a multitude of color combos (as long as one of them is navy).
The Churchill Dot (I think they call it “pindot”) is a crisp flat weave with tightly spaced dots that actually line up.

One of my favorites is the silk knit. Unlike wool knit ties, the silk knit is a summer staple. It doesn’t stretch like most knit ties and adds some texture to your outfit.
A strip of silk satin is added around the neck for strength.
All of the silk woven ties (not the knits) have a self-fabric keeper. If you don’t like to advertise who made your tie, or if your wife unknowingly cuts off the labels, fear not. The Tie Bar has provided you with a strip of silk to keep the tail end of your tie from poking an eye out if (when, really) you’re ever involved in a high speed car chase while driving a convertible. Or, maybe now you can stop tucking the narrow end of your tie into your shirt between the first and second button. Good thinking, TTB.
Unless it’s obviously marked otherwise, all Tie Bar ties are 100% silk (TTB sells wool ties as well as silk) with a stain resistant coating. They’re made by hand in … China. Now I know what you’re gonna say. I’m always touting the superior quality of American (or at least first-world) products and knocking the CCC (cheap, Chinese crap) but, c’mon. First off, you couldn’t pay an American bum enough to make a silk tie and still turn a profit at $15 a tie. It’s just not gonna happen. Second, the Chinese know silk. They’ve been messing around with the stuff since 3,500 B.C. so give ‘em a chance, will ya?
Tie bars. They come in different sizes, finishes and styles. Also good for convertible car chases and adding a little flash to your outfit.
Ahhhh, the bow tie. You know you’ve been thinking about it. Might as well take the plunge. At $15 each it’s worth it to just try one. These are also 100% hand made silk with adjustable necks. You WILL have to learn to tie one. These aren’t your run-of-the-mill prom or wedding bow ties that never fit right and always look “too” perfect. Plus, at the end of the night, these look great hanging on either side of your collar.

So, if you’re in the market for a new tie, check out www.TheTieBar.com. They’re friendly folks, fast shippers and their website is easy to navigate. They even let you see what different color shirts and suits will look like with your new tie right on the web page. If you do place an order, don’t bother telling them I sent you. They don’t know who I am.
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Summer Suits
I often hear guys complain about how much they hate to wear suits in the summer. If they absolutely have to wear one, the suit jacket will come off the first chance they get, usually exposing an ill-fitting, sweat-stained, poorly-ironed shirt made of some techno fabric conceived in a bubbling test-tube. Even worse, an A-shirt worn underneath (or, wife-beater, for my female readers) typically shows off super-attractive dark patches of chest and armpit hair. Sure you could just buy a better quality shirt, iron it and wear a proper crew-neck undershirt. Or, you could put away that wool flannel suit and wear a suit made for warm weather. Here are a few of your options (in descending order of formality):Cotton Poplin

Poplin is a sturdy weave that resists wrinkling and allows for good air flow. Polyester poplin blends are most commonly used for lab and doctor’s coats so, at first glance you might think a poplin suit looks cheap. However, as long as it’s cotton and well-made, a properly tailored poplin suit will look and feel better in the heat than the dude wearing the 9-button black polyester suit with square-toed Kenneth Cole Reactions.
Pincord
You don’t see this stuff around too much. It’s similar to seersucker in that it’s striped (usually white and blue or tan), but the stripes are narrower and much closer together, giving it a solid appearance from a few feet away. It also has a very fine rib as opposed to the wider smooth/wrinkly alternating textures of seersucker, making it a dressier option. Pincord suits are also very sturdy and can usually be washed at home. If you wear one, prepare yourself mentally for all the “ice cream man” comments.
Seersucker
The original summer suit. Seersucker is an awesome fabric. It has alternating loose and tight weaves in lines running through it. If you look closely, you’ll see what look like wrinkly stripes. This is what allows seersucker to breathe so well. And, since it’s already wrinkly, it hides new wrinkles pretty well. You have to really own this suit if you choose to wear it. The fashion mob will detect weakness and strike if you show even the slightest lack of confidence. Prepare yourself mentally for all the “Atticus Finch/Matlock lovechild” comments.
Chino
The same material as the pants. These suits are very popular right now and available from mall stores like Banana Republic, GAP and J. Crew. They’re a newer addition to the classic summer lineup. While I find them to be hotter and wrinklier than all the other suits, they’re very versatile and can be dressed up or way down. If you think you want one, make sure it’s 100% cotton and that it’s only quarter lined (the satin lining on the inside of the jacket should only be at the shoulders and in the sleeves). This is true for all summer suits, as a fully-lined jacket is basically about as smart as wearing a cheesecloth suit lined with a garbage bag in August.
Linen

The most ancient of all warm-weather fabrics and the hardest to wear. Nothing will keep you as cool as a good linen suit. Unfortunately, you’ll look like you pulled your suit out of a dirty clothes hamper and slept in it only a few hours after you put it on. Linen is a wrinkle magnet and you either learn to love them or don’t wear it.
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Rub Some Shirt In It

Welcome to my new blog! If you’ve pretty much forgotten about “Rub Some Dirt In It,” I don’t blame you. Lack of time and motivation coupled with a precedent of very long posts on a wide variety of topics have made it difficult to keep up (though I still plan to update it on a semi-regular basis). “Rub Some Shirt In It” is dedicated to classic men’s style (and why you should care) and will feature shorter posts updated more regularly. I hope you like it.